There are times: days, weeks.
Where all I can think about is how everyone I know will die.
So I crawl into bed while Jack is asleep and cry against his back until I pass out.
And during the day, while reading or on the computer, or even at work, I wonder "why am I doing any of this?"
I get paralyzed by the fact that I could lose Jack (or anyone in my family really) at any second.