Hello World

I'd like to point out that I am turning 30 tomorrow.

It's a number I've always been scared about. It is a very grown-up number. 30. That means 3 WHOLE DECADES of LIFE. HOLY SHIT. That's a lot.

I compare it with other ages in my head. 30 vs 25 for example. My mother had me when she was 25. And her mother had her when she was 25. When I was a kid, I always thought it would be the same for me. How awesome would that be? Born, 25, 50, 75. The kid would know his/her great great grandmother! It didn't happen like that. Or, to put it a better way, it hasn't happened yet. I bring up having kids and my mother yells at me saying she'd make it so it wouldn't happen again. When I point out the fact that she had two children by the time she was 30 she shrugs me off and says, "it was a different era." When I remind her that the mid-to-late 1980s weren't all that different she just tells me to shut up. Because that's what mothers do.

I'm not really worried about getting older though. I still look young. I get asked where I go to school and when I mention I graduated college in 2004, parents look horrified. Mostly because I'm probably not that much younger than they are and I look so much better. Good genes. Also, I don't go outside in the sun. And I use awesome moisturizer. So I'm not worried about aging. Or looking old. Or caring that I look old.

What I am worried about is that I don't feel 30. Nor do I feel like I should be allowed to be 30. Shouldn't I be more responsible than I am if I'm going to be 30? Should I feel like I'm an adult? I should be doing adult things! Like owning a home! Or at least not living with my boyfriend's parents. I should own a business suit! 30 year old women have business suits right? I should know how to walk in high heels without falling on my face too.

And a cat. I should have a cat.

So in conclusion, Hello World. This is my personal blog. I'm spo(e)rk. Nice to meet you.