Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Mystical Magical Mystery Box

A few months ago (I know! I'm a bad blogger. How can I ever meet the gold standard? I can't even blog twice a month most times.

but I digress[1].

A few months ago my wonderful lovely friend Jen (who is a proper blogger) sent me a package. In college, she used to send me mail all the time. Mostly creepy cut outs from magazines. And I don't know if I ever sent one back because I'm bad at mail or any sort of communication in a timely manner. I mean, she'd send me mail even though we were roommates. That's how awesome she is.

So I got this package.
I was instantly afraid.
As I should be.

The outside was covered in unicorns[2].
The inside was full of awesome.

Exhibit A:

I won this book via Jen's dog blog[3]. It is about a man and his house chicken. Or something like that. I haven't read it.

Exhibit B:

A walkman? Really? Without headphones? It's a good thing I have my ipod. And my old mix tapes from my first-ish boyfriend still laying around...

But it's all good! Exhibit 3

Because we didn't get a close up of the cassette tape it is "Born to be Wild" Original Artists. Original Recordings. I would like to meet an unoriginal artist, perhaps that's what a cover artist is? I dunno. I understand the wording and what it means but it's like that restaurant: Legal Seafood. It begs the question what is Illegal seafood. Probably dolphins and whales.

And no, I haven't listened to this tape yet either.

The fourth thing I got:

A space dragon killing an astroid. Pure Awesome. Look! That's my excited face and everything! For the record, space dragons are awesome; space unicorns should die.

Yup I'm gonna stop numbering these things:


Really? A box of Altoids?


I was wrong! Full of little stuff that is awesome! Look at those tiny seashells! And a monster with those floaty things so they don't drown because it can't swim!

What's next?

Socks that I haven't worn yet.

Sunglasses that make me look like Bono, but now that I have contacts again these have been coming in handy.

Urban Decay eye liner. Also very awesome and reminds me I need to actually buy makeup and stuff now that I have contacts...

Uh oh.
This last thing.

Jack had no idea what was going on when I saw this.


Granted, there are 3 other people besides me and Jen that understand the horror of Baby You. And the shenanigans that was our 3rd year of college.

Will this be sent on to a new home?
You bet your ass it will.

So that is my mystery box.
I have a slow growing one for Jen in response. So in the future we will have a sister post.

I am always up for mail though, so if you really want to send me something, feel free. I like stuff.

[1] Heh, Jen's post also says this. BECAUSE WE ARE MIND CONNECTED.
[2] Fucking Unicorns. I hate them. Except for My Little Ponies. Those are awesome.
[3] One link to her blog per blog post. Sorry Jen. Those are "my rules."


  1. Per number 3: to be fair, you could link to my dog blog (The Elka Almanac) AND my writing blog (Authorized Musings) which, while two links, is two sites. But any link at all is amazing!

    I hope you appreciate that I'm stifling my wild laughter in the break room at work, whilst patrons stalk past outside looking for rogue non fiction selections.

    Best. Photo Essay. Ever. I'm glad you liked everything!Most things! Whatever! YOLO!

    <3 <3 <3

    1. Ahem. YOLO

      But i *did* link to both your blogs. Silly Jen. HOVER OVER THE LINKS NEXT TIME.

      I am glad you thought this was funny. Actually, it might only be funny to to be honest. But I'm glad you did find it amusing!

      And like I said, I'm slowly accumulating stuff for your package....

    2. mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

      But yeah, I'm unable to judge who jokes will and will not be funny to. I have to be reminded that "jokes are for other people", if you'll recall!

      I eagerly await your package! I'm sure it will be epic, but perhaps have less unicorn content.

    3. See, that's why I really did this photo essay for you. And the few people who know the both of us. Mostly because no one else would understand it.


  2. Awww, this was cute. lol

    Nice gifts. :)

    1. thanks! Jen is really awesome like that. (:

  3. I'm going to be obnoxious now and quote Wikipedia:

    The precursor of Legal Sea Foods was founded in 1904 by Harry Berkowitz, who opened a grocery store called "Legal Cash Market" in the Inman Square area of Cambridge, Massachusetts. The name "Legal Cash Market" came from redemption stamps, like green stamps, which were called Legal Cash trading stamps, and had been given out with groceries bought by customers.

    In 1950, his son George opened a fish market called "Legal Sea Foods" next to his father's store.

    1. so you're saying that i need to spend Legal Cash Money at Legal Seafoods?

    2. Legal money, legal cash, legal hoes! Ruff Rydaz! Holla!